Tuesday, 23 November 2010

So sad

I wonder when will come the time

To stop deceiving oneself?

What is love, then?

A Promise made by two ... Up in the air!

He says: "I thought one day of marrying you..."

Shocking confession got out so naturally.

"Thought!" Emotions anguished.

"But I wondered how fool I would become" He clarified.

Everything, later, collapsed unconditionally.


 

Back in the room, she recalled the whole scenario

From touching hands to making love.

How wonderful it was! However, the contrast,

Between what passed, and the real present state, aches

Her heart.

"I don't like you" she muttered softly as if talking to him

In the face.

He's just gone away to where he became unreachable...

He is not there... he is not there for her anymore.

But there's one remaining Question!

"Why did he do all this to me?"


 


 


 


 


 


 

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Unexpectedly ...

How wonderful love could be?

Two lovers fell in love so passionately

It starts with mutual admiration, insisting

Attraction, and Intertwined affection ... Finally.


 

It was surprisingly incredible that eyes could

See

So irrational that an enlightened mind can

Perceive

Ah! Irresistible. Yes! Do believe.


 

How wonderful it could be?

Two lovers fell in love so passionately


 

A fragile girl met kind –hearted man

Unexpectedly

Bells of love rang privately ... in secrecy

Ah! So strong, so natural, and eventually

So compatible...

That's what he felt when she, in his arms,

Tremble


 

How wonderful it could be?

Two lovers fell in love so passionately


 


 


 


 

Monday, 1 November 2010

رواياتى

بعد أن قرأت الفتاة- التى تبلغ من العمر السابع عشرة- أحدى الروايات الرومانسية, ظلت لفترة لا تستغرق عدة دقائق على مكتبها تتأمل بطلة الرواية و تشعر بالتماهى و تحس بشىء مماثل فى تكوينها الذاتى معها . كم هي تشعر بالسعادة البالغة عندما تحمل كتابا يحتوي بين غوالفة العبر و القيم الهادفة و الدعوة إلى الحب و الوفاء. و تتأمل لمستقبل مشابهة كأحدى أبطال أى رواية ... و تحلم .... و تتذكر .... و ترقص فرحا ... و تعتقد بأن لا يمكن لأي مخلوق فى هذا الكون أبادة كيانها أو محيوه ... لقد خلق التمرد في شخصيتها و يقين راسخ بأن هناك من ينتظر وجدوها ... من يحلم بها يوما ما .... من يحتاح إلى حنانها و رقتها ... من يحسن معاملتها.

و لم تمر لحظات و دخل الاب عليها دون أذن. فتح الباب فجأة كعادته.

أرتجفت الفتاة و فى اقل من وهلة أخبئت الرواية بين الاوراق على المكتب. قد وضح على وجها بعض القلق ممزوج بالخوف من أفتراض أن يسألها الوالد عن ما كانت تفعل أو ماذا تقرأ. هذة ليست أول مرة يدخل عليها الأب بمثل هذا الدخول المفاجىء. و نظر إليها نظرة تعجب مصحوبة بالسخط لأنه يشعر دائما بأن هناك ما يشغلها عن المذاكرة ...

" ماذا تفعلي ؟ "

" كنت أقرأ.. أحدى الرواياتى .. "

لم تكذب عليه ولم تتدع عليه بالمذاكرة رغم انها تعلم جيدا ما سيفعله الوالد كلما تقول له ذات الموضوع. و لكنها أصرت و صممت على انها ستفعل ما تريد و لن تغير من كيانها بسبب عقل أبيها الذي يتحكم فيها مثلما يفعل مع اميها المستسلمة.

" لا أعلم ما يعجبك فى تلك التفاهات ؟" و يتجهه إليها بكل سرعة و يجمع كل قوته فى يده و يصفعها على وجها و هي تصرخ من الالم و تنهمر دموعها.و يقول مضيفا: " ألم اقل لكى كفي عن القرأة!! أنتى مثل أمك , لا تعيشي ألا فى المنزل لتنظفيه و تراعى أولادك عندما تنجبين."

كانت كلماته ليست حديثة على اذنها بل أصبحت عادة ما تشعر بالتبلد و المبالاة من هذا الكلام.

" لا.... متسحيل ... لم أدرس طوال حياتي لتقول لي هذا الكلام ... لن أفعل ما تريد... لم تنجبني لتتحكم في ... تعلمت من أجل أن أعمل و أرى العالم و أستفد من خبرات البشر..."

يجذبها الأب من شعرها و هو يصيح بصوته العال قائلا: " لم أعلمك لتفرضي تمردك علي... لن أسمح لك ... سترين ما سوف أقوم بفعله لكى تكفى عن هذا التمرد .... كل هذا تعلمتيه من الرويات القذره .." و يلطمها على وجها مرة أخرى .

" أين الرواية ؟ .... أعطني أياها.. " وهو يضغط على كتفيها بيده بكل قسوة ... حتى تستسلم فى ضعف و تعطيه أياها. و يأخذها و يمزقها إلى قطع على مكتبها و يتركها و يخرج من غرفتها وهو يصرخ فى صوت ساخط .... و تبقى هى تبكى طوال اليوم على مكتبها.







أيام الكلية ...

أيام الكلية ...


أشرقت الشمس عن يوم جديد , هو مولد ذاهبى الى كلية الالسن , تلك هى الكلية التي كانت مركز أحلامي و طموحي عندما كنت صغيرة فى المدرسة. ولابد أن أقول بأن أحدى الاسباب لدخولى هذة الكلية لسيت فقط لحبي للغات- خاصة الانجيليزية- لكن لحبى لمدرسة اللغة الانجيليزية فى الصف الاول و الثاني الاعدادي.

و أتذكر أسمها جيدا و ملامح وجها ... كان أسمها " مسز جيهان" و كانت بتحبنى أوى أوى ... بس أنا كنت أكتر منها بصراحة. و لكن الحقيقة انا طول عمرى بحب مدرسين الانجليزى فى المدرسة و اللغة نفسها. ومع كل هذا الحب وجهته فى سنتين الثانوي لأجل أن أدخل الكلية التى أعشقها .

كانت ذكريات المدرسة من أجمل الفترات فى حياتي مع أن كان يوجد هناك الكثير من ألاصحاب ذكروا لى ,بعد تلك الفترة, أني كنت بنت كئيبة وهادئة معظم الوقت. ولكن لم يتذكروا طفولتى عندما كنت فى الابتدائية. لا أريد تلطيخ صورتى كثيرا انما كنت الفتاة التى تتحدث كثيرا طوال الحصة و يقوم أحد المدرسين بطردي من الفصل لعدم توقفى عن الكلام. من الواضح أن هذة المواضيع كانت فى غاية الاهمية. ومن المؤكد كان الحديث يدور حول علاقتنا بالاباء و الامهات ....

المدرسة انتهت أيامها و أشرقت أيام الكيلة نورا مضيئا إلى أن أصابني بالعمى الحقيقة ... أستقيظ مبكرا - ذلك عادة بالترحيب بأول يوم فى الدارسة- بينما لم يكن ذلك شيئا غريبا أو عجيبا. كل الطلاب فى مصر يشعرون بالسعاده (الؤقتة) في بداية العام الدراسي ثم ينتهى ذلك الشعور فى أول أسبوع دراسي بالملل . و هذا ما حدث معى فى الكلية. أذكر جيدا أنه كان من الصعب على الذهاب إلى الكلية بمفردي وركوب وسائل الوصلات وسط الزحام غير المعتاد مثل ما رأته عيني فى هذا اليوم الاول من ذاهبى , حيث كان يرى الراكبين على وجهى شتى أنواع الخوف الذي كنت أتظاهر بأنه ليس لدى قط. و اخيرا وصلت بالسلامة الى الكلية وأطمئن قلبى بعدما أستطعت مرور شارع العباسية المزدحم طوال العام الدراسي ...

و عندما وصلت علمت من أحد الزملاء الذين كانوا يبلغونني بسنة أو اثنتين بأن لا يوجد محاضرات في الاسبوع الاول لأن معظم الطلاب لايحضرون في هذا الاسبوع و أن ليس كل الاستاذة يدخلون المدرج. لا انسى ان هذة الاخبار تركت شيئا يطفىء شعاع الحماس لدي لانى كنت في غاية النشاط و الحيوية و أرغب فى العمل. ثم لم تعد الساعتين و انطلقت الى المنزل.... و كان يوما قصيرا و متعبا فى نفس الوقت. و مرت عدة اسابيع و انا أذهب لأحضر محضارت الرواية و الترجمة و الدراسات اللغوية و كان الامر بالنسبة لى صعبا بسبب أختلاف طريقة المذاكرة و البحث عن المراجع و عمل الاوراق للمذاكرة فى نهاية العام.

وعلى الغرم من حبى لهذة الكلية, لم أكن أشعر بالراحة النفسية فى وجودي هناك. حيث كان الجو المحيط غريبا , لم أكن أعتدت عليه, و كنت أبحث على روح المدرسة فية و روح المدرسين الذين كانوا دائما بجوارنا و يقومون بأرشادنا و توجيهاتنا الى الامام. و مررت سنه و اثنيان حتى تأقلمت على الوضع ولا أنكر بأنني تعلمت الكثير: أن أحترم الاخر و أرائه ... أن أتكيف مع من حولى بسرعة دون انتقادهم بالسلب .... الا أنحاز لحد دون حق حتى لو كان صديق قريب منى ... و اتجه لتحقيق طموحي بنفسي .... لأرى سعادتي فى نهاية الطريق .

Saturday, 30 October 2010

أرحل و أنا فى انتظرك

إلى أين تريد أن تذهب و تتركنى وحدي؟ هل أصبح من السهل عليك بأن تسير دون وادعي ؟ قم ... قرب يداك الى يدي ... و انظر الى عيناى, و سوف تجد بحورا من الحب و الامل تساعدك على الرحيل. أننى لا أريد أن أضع القيود حولك بل سأتركك تحقق ما تحلم به ما دام لا ترغب فى بقاءك هنا, بالرغم ذكريتنا قد نشأت هنا فى ذلك المكان العجيب. و قد نمى قلبى على يدك. يصعب على فراقك. و لكن سأتركك ترحل حيث لا يوجد جدوى من البكاء ... و لكن سأدفن كل ما هو حزين,و موألم, و سأتكك ترحل ...

فأذهب ... ربما نلتقى مرة أخرى!

حبى الوحيد

لقد فتحت عينى على هذة الدنيا على نغمات دقات قلبك. و أحسست بوجودك بجانبي. و عرفت ما هو مذاق الحياة. كل شىء صار مختلفا و كل لحظة أصبح لها معنها بعد أن رأيت نورك فى حياتي. لم أكن أعرف ما هو مذاق الحب أو- قد تسطتيع ان تقول- بأنني لم أكن بعثت من جديد كمثل تللك اللحظة التي لمست فيا وجودك. و ما أجمل ذلك الشعور! فقد كنت أريد أن أكمل معك مسيرتي لنسير الى نهاية النقطة فى الطريق. ولكنني أطمح الى ما هو أغلى و أبقى. و أنت تعلم ما فى بالى و ما فى مخيلتي.

قد يصبح ما نحن فيه الان حلما... و لكن أتيت بيه الى أرض الواقع و الجمال. أشتاق انا ليك أشتاق ... و اليك جبي واحترامي و كل التقدير.


My darling ...!!! How lucky I am!


 

So many days have passed!

So many ways could never be done,

To reach you ... to reach your place.

To have you in arms ... face to face.

To kiss you warmly, and in your arms

I feel the gentle embrace.


 

So wonderful memories I keep in mind.

So many wonders astonish my eyes.

So rarely will I meet someone like you!

Believe me ... it's perfectly true.


 

How many barriers were there?

We stood steadily in our most despair.

My darling ... my love ... my everything.

Be assured no one will fill My heart

the way you did.


 

Now, I believe why our hearts met in...

our final stage of our existence;

A new born love for me, and a final one for you.

Oh God! Make our destiny be one and be gathered

Afterlife.

Sunday, 17 October 2010

My love for you...

She never left a corner in her room until she imagined dancing with him. Her heart and soul are all devoted for this person. Today morning,

She sent him a text message that made him very flattered; "You're the real figure of man that I've been dreaming of my whole life".

How many things had happened to let them apart; however the linking bond between them was still tied strongly?

Only one wish she was hoping to come true; he'd choose her among his past relations... Perhaps, she had been confirmed that she was not

The first love for him; however, she desired so much to be his last... conversely, He was the first man for her, and she did love passionately till

She was well-known of the fact that no one would be loved the same as she did with him.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

His love towards her


How many times I asked myself; Was it really an affectionate love? Or Is it just merely a passing love-affaire? Sometimes, one may revise everything that he or she did in the old days which are considered, from their perspectives, the wonderful days ever spent. From my side, My heart has just declared and announced truly; the fact that it is the wonderful love I've been through… How did it happen ? Or when did it exactly happened? I could not honestly tell. But, just ask me about the details and you may know when and where it happened! The first occurrence of heart-beats took place in Alexandria (The Pearl of the Mediterranean). All out of sudden, the attracting mutual attraction gathered them both in the same one way; Painting. However, their love is surrounding by obstacles and walls that each of them must have to challenge. They, further, have nothing but to accept their fate.


Needless to say, "Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." They both did what should be done for each other… Adam and Eve accepted to live on earth after their forgiven mistake and this is what they were expecting it to be. A fortnight was a great experience she had passed with him in the same place. She, needless to say, called it "A Fortnight in heaven". It was the best timing that he really expressed his love towards her which she warmly welcomed. She couldn't believe his tenderness would reach that extent, his love would be unlimited or endless as to his renewable feelings of passion. So soon the fortnight had passed and she had to come back home, so heavy on both hearts but the more hungry passion was to come.


Thursday, 14 October 2010

Hamlet, Act I, Laertes’ speech

Act 1, Scene 3


SCENE III. A room in Polonius' house.

Enter LAERTES and OPHELIA

LAERTES

My necessaries are embark'd: farewell:
And, sister, as the winds give benefit
And convoy is assistant, do not sleep,
But let me hear from you.

OPHELIA

Do you doubt that?

LAERTES

For Hamlet and the trifling of his favour,
Hold it a fashion and a toy in blood,
A violet in the youth of primy nature,
Forward, not permanent, sweet, not lasting,
The perfume and suppliance of a minute; No more.

OPHELIA

No more but so?

LAERTES

Think it no more;
For nature, crescent, does not grow alone
In thews and bulk, but, as this temple waxes,
The inward service of the mind and soul
Grows wide withal. Perhaps he loves you now,
And now no soil nor cautel doth besmirch
The virtue of his will: but you must fear,
His greatness weigh'd, his will is not his own;
For he himself is subject to his birth:
He may not, as unvalued persons do,
Carve for himself; for on his choice depends
The safety and health of this whole state;
And therefore must his choice be circumscribed
Unto the voice and yielding of that body
Whereof he is the head. Then if he says he loves you,
It fits your wisdom so far to believe it
As he in his particular act and place
May give his saying deed; which is no further
Than the main voice of Denmark goes withal.
Then weigh what loss your honour may sustain,
If with too credent ear you list his songs,
Or lose your heart, or your chaste treasure open
To his unmaster'd importunity.
Fear it, Ophelia, fear it, my dear sister,
And keep you in the rear of your affection,
Out of the shot and danger of desire.
The chariest maid is prodigal enough,
If she unmask her beauty to the moon:
Virtue itself 'scapes not calumnious strokes:
The canker galls the infants of the spring,
Too oft before their buttons be disclosed,
And in the morn and liquid dew of youth
Contagious blastments are most imminent.
Be wary then; best safety lies in fear:
Youth to itself rebels, though none else near.

OPHELIA

I shall the effect of this good lesson keep,
As watchman to my heart. But, good my brother,
Do not, as some ungracious pastors do,
Show me the steep and thorny way to heaven;
Whiles, like a puff'd and reckless libertine,
Himself the primrose path of dalliance treads,
And recks not his own rede.

LAERTES

O, fear me not.
I stay too long: but here my father comes.

Enter POLONIUS
A double blessing is a double grace,
Occasion smiles upon a second leave.

LORD POLONIUS

Yet here, Laertes! aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for. There; my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!

LAERTES

Most humbly do I take my leave, my lord.

LORD POLONIUS

The time invites you; go; your servants tend.

LAERTES

Farewell, Ophelia; and remember well
What I have said to you.

OPHELIA

'Tis in my memory lock'd,
And you yourself shall keep the key of it.

LAERTES

Farewell.

Exit

Meet again ...

The time has come to meet again. She received a text message nearly about ten o'clock in the morning inviting her to his place. She first didn't believe it was the time that she could meet him again after all the despair she'd felt during the last months. Although she'd made it clear to herself that, no matter what, she wouldn't be able to have this chance; she didn't lose this scrap of desperate hope to see his face. And here it is!

She replied in the same minute; "So I am coming." She directly went there at his place which she has not long visited; she kept looking at his face until he noticed that she wasn't normal as she was in the past. However, she couldn't express herself more clearly, she told him how much I was missing him and couldn't feel if that chance could occur. On the inner side, she wanted so much to tell him that her life is become incomplete without his presence; she does not smile from the heart as much as he was there. It was not about love-making or any other idea from that view, on the contrary, it was about his existence, soul, and cheerful spirit that had made her reach the stars...

She truly loved him .... And she will !


Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Her new coming life

She no longer feels the sweet feelings that he brings when he shows up. Decidedly, the inner voice urges her to stop thinking about him anymore; conversely to what she really shows externally to him. Every day, she sends text messages in order to tell him about her daily life, any news about any matter concerning an engagement that might happen at any time. Her animated admiration, however, has never been exceeded by any other coming idea from his side; whether a secret date, or even a call. On the contrary, the fresh spirit, which was shining in every place she goes, has swallowed up by a deep hidden grief, and her admiration and affection towards him shakes the earth under her feet no more. Against all her inner struggles, She gathered herself up to face the new world independently without anyone's interference... Although she has expected that she will probably face things that cause her some hesitation, she insisted that there's no other way but that one. That She has to continue the long way....

Monday, 11 October 2010

Just tired...

Very tired.... There is still no way to end this restless pain inside of me. On the contrary, It is

there alive struggling among the thorny ways that I meet on the street... How hard and difficult

it became to stand alone ... All Alone in such conditions. From the first day, My eyes have

observed the details of an endless show of in that theatre, in which every character plays its role

perfectly and ends sometimes with the same misery .... How sad it could be!!!

Sunday, 3 October 2010

fourth year presentation paper

To all Alsonians, I just used my blog to give you the link of the presentation paper in order to
download ... I couldnt do it directly from facebook because it doesnt accept any link from
4shared.com ...

Here it is : http://www.4shared.com/file/Mx-OLaGd/Fourth_year_research.html

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Ramadan



What is Ramadan ?


What do Muslims do in it?


What are the religious activities that Muslims practise in this month?





Ramadan is the ninth month of the Arabic calendar in which Qu'ran was first revealed to the prophet,


Mohammed, in the Arab peninsula. The name Ramadan is an Arabic word which denotes scorched ground,


Shortness of rations (food allowance), and intense heat. Besides, it has the actual night in which it was revealed, called "Leilit el Qadr" or "The night of power", in the last ten days. The following month is Shaw'al in which they celebrate a festival or feast of the breaking of the fast, called "Aeid el Futre".


All Muslims refrain from eating, drinking, and sexual relations from dawn until sunset. They fast and pray the daytime for the sake of god in order to become better Muslims to him.


'Ramadhan is the (month) in which was sent down the Qur'an, as a guide to mankind, also clear (Signs) for guidance and judgment (Between right and wrong). So every one of you who is present (at his home) during that month should spend it in fasting, but if any one is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed period (Should be made up) by days later. Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put to difficulties. (He wants you) to complete the prescribed period, and to glorify Him in that He has guided you; and perchance ye shall be grateful" [ El baqrah - 002.185]


The idea of the fasting in it is for Muslims to be taught self-restraint, self- discipline, and humility. Furthermore, it reminds them of the poor who couldn't earn their living, or who couldn't find their daily food and beverage.


" Narrated Sahl: The Prophet said, "There is a gate in Paradise called Ar-Raiyan, and those who observe fasts will enter through it on the Day of Resurrection and none except them will enter through it. It will be said, 'Where are those who used to observe fasts?' They will get up, and none except them will enter through it. After their entry the gate will be closed and nobody will enter through it." [ Bukari -
Volume 3, Book 31, Number 120]


However, Muslims could have different activites in that month. Probably, most muslims read the qur'an and pray more than usual during the month, while others prefers to participate in social activities; visiting relatives, going to charity, and giving money to the poor.


Further reading:


http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramadan